School...and Work...or Both...

Well I have started my second year of teaching. Some days I think I might actually like the profession that I chose, and some days I wonder what exactly I was thinking. Although I think this might be normal for any job/profession. Today I had a good day. My students were great, they listened and tried to pretend to be interested in science. I am not sure if that was for me or if it was for some other reason...but I will take it.

What is it about math and science that scares students so much. We use the simplest of math in science and yet, some won't even try to learn it. I know that they all have the potential and can learn it, but it is almost as if they give up before they even start.

I love teaching high school. Middle school was hard for me, but I definitely like being able to have a real conversation with a student. I still feel like I am being babysat however. I have to turn in lesson plans to my principal every week until I have the perfect lesson plan. My friend Dave got there on week two and here week three is and I still can't quite make it. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not as smart as he is? Why aren't my lesson plans as good? I guess what I want to know is, am I really a good teacher even if I can't write the perfect lesson plan? I am really used to being great and amazing at whatever job I do and now I get into teaching and nothing ever seems good enough. I feel like I work 1000 hours a day and can still never hit perfection. If nothing else I guess this job will keep me striving to be better. I just wish I could be as good as Dave is. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a teacher, maybe if I can't figure things out by my 2nd year then this isn't the job for me. I mean it is only Dave's 2nd year and he seems to have it all figured out. He never asks me for help, but I feel like I am constantly asking him for help.

I think the biggest problem I have is that I don't want to be in a profession where I constantly feel second rate. Every boss I have ever had before this job was always amazed by me and everything I have done. Am I too spoiled is that the problem? Wow this blog sounds like a self-pity party. I guess I will stop now. I just wonder, will I demand perfection of myself for the rest of my life, or will there come a point when I can finally accept that I will never be perfect. And if I get to that point of acceptance will I stop progressing? Because the last thing I want to do is stop progressing.